the pendulum swings...
remembering balance as a process.
Some weeks, curiosity feels easy.
This week is not one of them. This week, I’ve been noticing how overwhelm tightens my breath. My nervous system feels loud. My thinking and vision shrink to fit the smallness that feels safe.
Recognizing that telling myself “Don’t be scared” is just about as helpful as being told “Not to look down.” when at a great height.
So Ive been moving with how to trick my brain in looking past the thing(things) that is(are) bringing me to a hault.
How can I move past the blockage standing in the way of remembering there is a light at the end of a tunnel… standing in the way of any hope of change.
Instead of trying to think my way out, as I already know the answer does not lie in reason or in figuring it out, I’m practicing something more tactile.
Simply taking small actions that help my body return toward balance.
Movement…. Listening to Music.
Stepping outside every moment I can so the sun can touch my face.
Reaching out to a loved one to ask how they are doing.
With each tightening of constriction asking myself “is this feeding my hope or my fears?”
Hope doesn’t arrive all at once. It’s fed, nourished, moment by moment.
If my thinking shapes my actions, and my actions shape my behavior…
perhaps I can reverse engineer some space to let the light back in…
Nurturing the things that restore me to balance.
